Slack Chat: Bedwetting

T: Any idea what happened to the Clinton Reddit thing? There were like 360,000 people talking about it three hours ago, and now it’s just gone.

J: More of the same, it’s all circumstantial stuff.

T: Combetta was involved … it’s going to be all over the debate.

J: There is  evidence that he actually acted on any information he got, and no evidence that the Reddit request would have been illegal. More ado about nothing.

T: More bedwetting … Silver and 538 has the percentages down to 56-44. Actually, it’s back up a bit – 57.2 – 42.7. Before she got sick it was 70-30.

J: Well, we’ll see how it goes. I think everyone’s waiting for the debates.

T: Bedwetting days. Gonna be a wet weekend.

J: They do have that tendency. They were probably still sweating it when it was 90-10.

T: I was. Like drunk driving, being wrong once is one time too many.

J: Well, it’s far from over. The Electoral College will probably put Clinton in the Oval Office, but it’s not enough for her just to win, she needs a mandate.

T: You have a false bravado. In your heart you know Trump is going to lie, cheat, bully, and weasel his way into the White House. We are too stupid to stop him.

J: Nah. The blue wall is alive and well.

T: We are a society of commercial watchers, followers. Sheep.

J: If she wins the 18 states plus Washington D.C. that the Dems have won each of the last SIX elections, that’s 242 electoral votes.

T: We willingly drink brown sugar-water that eats metal cans, because the television told us to.

J: Plus Florida makes 271. Congrats, President Clinton.

T: Trump means we have to throw out everything that’s ever happened. You know that. This is not a year that we can trust the center to hold. Past history ain’t going to have much to do with it.

J: You have less faith in the American electorate than I do.

T: I figure either Trump gets destroyed or he wins. I have full faith in the electorate.

J: I think when it comes right down to it, the public at large won’t pull the lever for the idiot.

T: They will buy when they are sold. The best hope is that we don’t have as many people watching cable news. The worst fear is that the Trumps don’t need a diversified portfolio. They just have to keep digging up some sort of email innuendo, and they move in front in the polls.

J: I think you’re wrong. It may be that a lot of people aren’t paying much attention yet but when it really starts to get down to nut-cutting time, they’ll go with the real politician over the idiot.

T: J, that’s been the line for nearly 18 months, and it’s provably wrong. Logic ain’t in it this year. How many times have people said Trump has no chance? He is here, and he ain’t never going away. He’s Jason Voorhees.


J: He’s never gotten over about 43 percent in any reputable poll. That’s his ceiling.

T: His ceiling is going to be the Lincoln bedroom.

J: Only if he pays Hillary for the privilege.

T: The French thought the Maginot Line was impregnable. The Titanic was  unsinkable. The 2007 Patriots were going to stomp the Giants. Trump voters aren’t ideological types.

J: There aren’t that many idiots in America.

T: They are emotional types, and once sold they stay sold. You didn’t laugh.  Of course there are that many idiots. I don’t want it to be true, but how else do you explain Trump?

J: Well, it’s not going to be true. Change your sheets and relax.

T: Nice try. Where’s your evidence?

J: Every single Electoral College projection says otherwise. Every single one.

T: Trump is like a guy you are in love with. He doesn’t have to do shit and you’ll blow him twice a day and cook his dinner. Hillary is the hard worker with the nice personality, but you just ain’t feelin’ it with her because she doesn’t have big enough tits. Trump is a salesman. He’s still making sales. Hillary is a wonk. She just wants to get to work.

J: The Electoral College is an anachronism but it’s going to save us from the horror of a Trump presidency.

T: J, nothing but the country waking the fuck up is going to save us.

J: Well, they’ve got six weeks to do it.

T: Every non-Trumpist has to make sure everyone they know gets to the voting booth and hope like hell that there aren’t armed rednecks guarding it.

J: I doubt there’ll be any trouble with that. Too much video around these days.

T: So we get televised fascism … J, you are making the most dangerous assumption of them all. You assume logic will hold, humanity will hold, reason will hold, shame will hold. Nothing will hold when these people just fucking want, want, want. They are 1932 Germany, 1935 Italy, 1917 Russia. It’s the revolution – the Idiocracy revolution.

J: You assume that everyone in America has forgotten the lessons of history. We have seen what happens when demagogues and fascists are given the reins of power.

T: That’s ridiculous on its face, J. Of course everyone has forgotten the lessons of history. We are the Jaywalking all-stars when it comes to history. Who cares about history? Clinton is polling at 96 percent among history buffs. Ask Fox News if they poll history buffs.

J: I don’t buy into your doomsday scenario. It’s scary that there are enough idiots in America to put Trump into the position that he’s in, as the nominal head of a major political party, but fortunately for the country they are a loud, if stupid, minority.

T: They are one percentage point behind. There is no buying in. They are here, and they are breaching the dammed walls. They are not a minority.

J: They ARE behind, therefore they are the minority.

T: It’s essentially even now.

J: And the demographic time bomb continues to tick.

T: I want you to be right, but you sound like you are selling yourself something.

J: This year is the last best hope for the bigots and racists and xenophobes. Their demographic is aging and the population is becoming increasingly diverse. If they don’t win this time, the Republican Party may not be politically relevant again for a generation. The greater concern I have is what happens with the hardcore Trumpettes who have been emboldened by his success. It’s going to be difficult to stuff them back under their rocks. They will be throwing wrenches into politics for a generation to come. But again, demographics will work against them.

T: No argument from me on that.

J: So the Democratic Party needs to get their asses to the polls THIS FUCKING TIME and make sure that Trump doesn’t get anywhere near the White House.

T: Yep.

J: They cannot afford complacency, even with the built-in electoral advantage they have. There’s too much at stake. Even beyond the presidency, there are likely to be three or four Supreme Court vacancies. Policy will be shaped for the next 30 years by the justices the next President appoints.

T: Think about this. Nothing Trump has done so far has lowered his percentage. It’s been at least 41 percent, even during the Khan stuff. He makes Gotti seem vulnerable.

Hey, another nickname? The Teflon Don(ald). Huh, HUH? Oh never mind.

J: There doesn’t seem to be much movement in the polls at all. There are comparatively few undecideds. The numbers fluctuate a point or two with the news cycles, but Clinton seems to be up three to four percent. And the degree of polarization this year is just unreal, it’s not like anything I’ve ever seen… no one’s going to change anyone else’s minds about Trump or Clinton. And there’s a significant fuck-you vote going to Johnson and Stein.

T: The big hope is that none of these trumped up (pun intended) attacks on the email thing stick.

J: It won’t make much difference, it’ll dominate a couple of news cycles, Trump might close a point or so, then he’ll do something stupid and fall back. I’d bet right now that the final vote will be within one percentage point either way of where is it right now.

T: J, try to remember the last time Trump fell back. He has committed actual crimes, and nothing changes.

J: Clinton 46, Trump 42, Johnson 8, Stein 4. That’s your final plus or minus one each.

T: Johnson ain’t getting 8 – he’s probably getting 3-5, Stein 2. I’ll say 48-44-5-3 or (shudder) 46-47-5-2.

J: The minor parties are running stronger this year. I think they’ll have their best showing since Perot.

T: Not if the race is close, I don’t think so. People are going to want their vote to matter.

I think they will peter out as we approach November. Seven points would be a huge non-major party share. What did they have in 2000, 3-4? Mostly Green party, I think.

J: I think it was around 4.

T: I’m more optimistic than I sound, honestly.

J: It’s discouraging to see the amount of idiocy in America that Trump has brought to the fore, but in the end it will be a footnote to history.

T: If Trump wins, we are going to have to move to Madagascar.

J: Canada’s already said they’re closing the border if that happens. Madagascar it might have to be.

T: Do Lemurs taste like chicken?

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